In a world plagued by love gurus and hopeless romantics, Unloved presents a guide to loving oneself through the process of heartbreak. The chaos after the calm, this self-help book offers an antidote to heartache with a uniquely Indian point of view.
Once upon a time, relationships followed a script as straightforward as a ‘90s sitcom plotline. Two people met, sparks flew, they fell madly in love and the credits rolled. Cue applause. Fast forward to the present, and the dating world is more of a ‘Choose your own adventure’ novel, written in invisible ink on a rollercoaster.
Welcome to this chapter where we toss aside the rose-coloured glasses and take a daring plunge into the swirling whirlpool of modern romance. Relationships these days are less of ‘happily ever after’ and more of ‘let’s see how this goes . . . and maybe consult a survival guide’.
In the era of swipes, likes and emojis that convey emotions even Shakespeare couldn’t have imagined, decoding relationships feels like trying to solve a Sudoku puzzle designed by a naughty wizard. It has more twists and turns than a soap opera script on caffeine.
In the labyrinth of contemporary courtship, be prepared for plot twists, unexpected cliffhangers and characters who ghost faster than a phantom in a haunted mansion. Buckle up, because in the dating maze, the only thing guaranteed is that nothing is guaranteed.
Let’s dive into the chaos, decode the signals and emerge on the other side with our sanity and sense of humour intact. It’s time to rewrite the rules and find comedy in the chaos of twenty-first-century love.
Scenario 1
A: ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just can’t. . . fall in love.’
B: (pauses, considering) ‘Hey, maybe you’re aromantic.’
A furrows their brow. ‘Aromantic? Is that like not being into flowers or something?’
B chuckles softly. ‘Not quite. It’s more about not feeling romantic attraction to others. You know, like how some people just aren’t into superhero movies or jazz music? It’s just a different way of experiencing relationships.’
A nods slowly, beginning to understand. ‘So, it’s not about being broken or missing out on something?’
B shakes their head. ‘Exactly! Being aromantic is just one of many ways people experience love and relationships. It’s not better or worse, just different.’
A smiles, feeling a weight lift off their shoulders. ‘Well, that’s a relief. I guess I’ve just been looking for something that’s not in my nature.’
B grins. ‘Exactly! You’re just being true to yourself. And who needs grand romantic gestures anyway? I bet you’ll find your own unique way to connect with people.’
A laughs, feeling a newfound sense of freedom. ‘You know what? You’re right. Maybe I’ll embrace my inner secret agent and navigate the world of relationships on my own terms.’
B raises an eyebrow playfully. ‘And who knows? Maybe instead of a decoder ring, you’ll get a cool gadget that lets you see the world in a whole new way.’
A grins, feeling excited about the possibilities ahead. ‘Now that’s a mission I can get behind.’
Definition of aromantic: Aromanticism is a romantic orientation characterized by a lack of romantic interest or a limited desire for romantic relationships. People who identify as aromantic may still experience other forms of attraction, such as platonic or aesthetic attraction, but they do not typically experience the same level of romantic attraction as those who identify as romantic.
Harshita speaks: Kyunki inko aata hi nahi hai, inko pata hi nahi, inse hota hi nahi hai. Hopeless romantic ki zindagi barbaad ho gayi. (Because they don’t know, they don’t understand, and they can’t do anything. The life of a hopeless romantic has been ruined.)
Scenario 2
A: ‘She only ever seems to text me after I’ve given up on hearing from her.’
B: ‘Ah, the classic “I’ll-subtly-reappear-when-you’ve-moved-on” tactic.’ That’s textbook benching, my friend.’
A sighed, feeling like they were caught in a dating drama series with too many plot twists. ‘Benching? Seriously? I didn’t even know we were playing a sport. What’s next? Penalty kicks for missed date opportunities?’
B chuckled, leaning back as if sharing the wisdom of the dating oracle. ‘Dating is the Olympics of emotions, my dear friend. Bench-warming is just one of the many events.’
A raised an eyebrow. ‘So, what’s my strategy here? Do I start doing push-ups and jumping jacks to stay in the game?’
B smirked. ‘Nah, that’s too old school. The next time she texts, hit her with a hurdle. Something like, “Oh, sorry, I was too busy mastering the art of patience.”’
A: Mastering patience?’
B winked. ‘Exactly. Show her you’re not just a player. And if she tries to bench you again, well, let her know you’re too busy.’
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