Indulge in some very, extremely, most funny naughty tales of asura twins Kundakka and Mandakka, who hate going to school; clumsy Bhasma and pet pig Nakura, who create trouble in the village; brothers Atapi and Vatapi, who like to eat ninety-six cartfuls of fruits as dessert; the great Bana who claps with his thousand hands and so many more!
Read below a story from The Very, Extremely, Most Naughty Asura Tales for Kids:
Kids, we all know that a book of funny stories needs a greater lead-in story, hence we start with this tale.
This story is about the tiny-tot asura twins called Kundakka and Mandakka, who were being dragged to the gurukula by their mother. Imagine the chaos!
They used to call schools gurukula in the good old days. And don’t, for a moment, think they are like your modern ‘learn this, do that’ type of school—crammed with so many activities that it becomes hectic. Gurukulas, in fact, were very cool places. Can you imagine reading about continents or doing maths in the lap of nature? Yes, the classes were held under some huge trees. And a grandpa with a toothless smile and long white beard would be the teacher and the students would sit on the ground. If the class was boring, like most classes tend to be (don’t tell your parents I said that), you could just look up at the tree and perhaps watch monkeys playing pranks, eat the fruits growing on the tree or even try to sneak away! Or you could look across the paddy fields and see a temple elephant swimming in the river. There were no homework, no exams, no holiday projects and no grumpy teachers. Mostly it was all about learning from stories! The guru would sit cross-legged under the tree and say plenty of tales—old and new. Even if you dozed off, he wouldn’t mind. Alas, those days are long gone!
Anyways, back to Kundakka and Mandakka, the asura twins, who didn’t know how lucky they were to study in such a school. There are some kids (not you, surely, but some other kids perhaps) in your class who may think studying is boring and never want to learn. Well, Kundakka and Mandakka were two such children. They weren’t bright and intelligent and smart like you, they didn’t know how important it is to study and how enjoyable the classes can be! Kundakka and Mandakka didn’t want to study at all. They hated their school. So, they sat cross-legged on the street, with their arms crossed across their chests, their cheeks red with fury and their lips pouting. They refused to budge an inch from where they sat. ‘We DON’T want to study,’ they yelled. But that didn’t stop their mother from dragging them through the streets, holding their ears.’
Everyone asked Mother Asuri, ‘Why are you dragging the kids? And why are they so angry?’
‘I am absolutely fed up with these naughty ones. Seven years old and not ready to go to gurukula,’ she screamed above the
Kundakka bawled at a kind asuri, ‘I DON’T want to study, aunty.’
On the other side, Mandakka howled, ‘We are heroes, we were about to conquer the world! We know everything and there is no need for us to study anything more!’
‘How old are you?’ asked a street vendor who was selling mangoes.
‘I am seven,’ cried Kundakka, ‘and Mandakka was born on my birthday!’
‘And I am seven,’ shouted Mandakka, ‘and Kundakka was born on my birthday too!’
‘That is right,’ the twins cried together, ‘both of us were born on each other’s birthdays and that makes us special.’
‘Boys of seven should be in school,’ said the mango vendor, rolling his eyes.
‘Yes, they should be studying,’ agreed an old woman, who was pushing a vegetable cart.
That angered the twins, who wanted to lunge at the carts. But their mother was holding them firmly by the ears, and so they continued to be dragged to the gurukula.
‘No, we don’t want to study. We know everything. We want to conquer the world!’ Mandakka roared.
‘Yes, we are so smart and intelligent and bright and strong. We want to rule the world! If only our mother would leave us be,’ Kundakka wailed.
Everyone in the street laughed, ‘They have no strength to even free themselves from their mother’s grip, and they dream of conquering the world! Hahahahaha!’
That made Kundakka angry. And it made Mandakka furious. Kundakka bit his mother’s left hand and Mandakka bit his mother’s right. Their mother howled in pain and her grip loosened. Seizing this golden opportunity, Kundakka ran back home and Mandakka followed. Their mother chased them, all the while scolding them for their mischief. The people in the street laughed. That made Kundakka angry. And it made Mandakka furious. How dare they laugh at them? After all, Kundakka and Mandakka were so smart and intelligent and bright and strong!
Kundakka screamed and lunged and toppled the mango vendors’ basket and stomped on the ripe mangoes. The mangoes were squashed and their juice splashed everywhere. Copying his brother, Mandakka tried the same but slipped on the squishy mango and fell on his back. Kundakka then yelled and toppled over him. People in the street laughed harder. That made Kundakka angry. And it made Mandakka furious. They tried to push the old woman’s cart into the drain. However, while trying to do so, Kundakka lost his balance and fell into the drain.
‘Save me, brother!’ he howled.
Mandakka lent a hand to pick him up, but the cart they had let loose hit him from behind and he fell on Kundakka. People laughed harder, which only made the twins madder.
‘Stop it, you dummies!’ Their mother cried and pleaded, but the twins never listened. Dripping with the stinking gooey water of the drain, Kundakka and Mandakka stood glaring at one and all. Then Kundakka whispered something in Mandakka’s ear
and suddenly, they both laughed together. When they turned towards the people, they were grinning like cats that had just spied a plump mouse. Stealthily, they started walking towards the people with their hands extended. Stinking drain water dripped from their fingers. They sang:
Aren’t we chubby, aren’t we cute? Aren’t we lovely, as sweet as fruit? Give us a bear hug, give us a kiss Regret not later for giving it a miss.
People in the street yelled and screamed. They ran helter-skelter, like scared chickens. Kundakka and Mandakka laughed and laughed as they chased everyone, offering them kisses and hugs. The vegetable vendor climbed the street pole and perched on it like a crow, the mango vendor hid behind a banyan tree. An egg seller, who had ambled into the street with a song on his lips, paused when he saw the twins standing amidst the confusion with an evil grin. They were covered in slime and smelt like the sewer. The egg vendor took a step back and the twins took a step towards him. The egg vendor took two steps back and the twins took three steps forward.
‘Aren’t we chubby?’ Kundakka asked, putting another step forward.
‘Uh . . .’ the egg vendor cried horrified, taking a step back.
‘Aren’t we cute?’ Mandakka asked, jumping two steps forward.
‘I don’t think so!’ the egg vendor jumped three steps back, trying hard to balance the basket of eggs on his head.
‘Aren’t we lovely?’
‘No. I would not say so.’
‘As sweet as fruit?’
‘No, no, no,’ cried the egg vendor, looking for a path to escape.
Kundakka and Mandakka looked at each other and grinned. They sang together, ‘Give us a bear hug, give us a kiss, regret not later for giving it a miss’ and they charged at the poor egg vendor who screamed in terror.
‘Ayyo, Ayyo, Ayyayoooo . . .’ The egg vendor ran and ran and ran, while Kundakka and Mandakka chased him, singing their song. But before they could reach him, a sack was suddenly thrown over Kundakka. Another fell on Mandakka. The vegetable vendor and the mango vendor had sneaked up and caught the twins. Aha! They struggled inside the sack and yelled and screamed, ‘Who dare capture us! Release us!’ But eventually, unable to do anything, they changed their tune to, ‘We don’t want to go to school. We want to conquer the world, please let us out.’
They heard their mother’s voice, ‘Very good. Now take the two devils to the guru. Let him teach them some lessons.’
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