Do you have numerous friends on social media, but hardly any in real life?
Do you find that your relationships don’t last?
Sustaining quality friendships and bonds have become even more important in today’s times. The warmth and companionship that a good friend can provide is unmatched.
In The Magic of Friendships, Shubha Vilas discusses, in a simple and straight-forward manner, what is missing in our friendships today and the various scenarios that prevent people from making and maintaining good friends. Find an excerpt below that explores the need for quality and strength of the friendship over the number of friends.
**
Friendships Should Bring Joy
Blood relationships are formed when you share DNA, the substance of the body. Friendship is formed when you share the substance of the mind.
Most people today form friendships due to circumstances. These are called ‘circumstantial friendships’. Though some of them may end up becoming genuinely deep bonds, usually, they do not cross the first level of friendship. Now you may think, ‘What is Level 1 of friendship? How many levels does friendship have?’ Let me introduce you to the various levels of friendship before we take this conversation ahead. I will start with an example. Kamla was a smart and talented girl. It was no wonder she was popular in college. She also knew what made people happy: a little bit of kindness and a few words of appreciation. She used these generously in her dealings with everyone, and people were drawn towards her. Her life was busy, what with so many invitations and so many friends wanting her company all the time. She was always surrounded by people. Life felt like it could not have been better or happier for Kamla.
One day, she woke very excited: they were celebrating Friendship Day in college. She had given a lot of thought to the matter of whom she wanted to give gifts to. She had many friends to choose from and she didn’t want anyone to feel left out. But she couldn’t possibly give gifts to each and every friend she had! So she finally settled on two people she had recently befriended. Of course, she was as excited about receiving gifts as she was about giving them. However, she was not prepared for what happened next.
She sought out both her friends, as she had planned, and gave them their gifts. They laughed and smiled as they chatted, but they did not give anything to her. She waited all day for gifts to come her way. She had imagined friends falling all over her, showering gifts on her. But nothing like that happened. In fact, she was the only girl in class who did not receive a single gift! She was in such shock that she went home in tears. How was it that a girl who was the life of every party did not receive a single present? Did she not smile and hug her friends often enough? Did she not call them regularly to chat with them? Did she not attend their parties when they invited her? All this and yet, no one thought of her as a friend? It was too much for her to bear.
Her family consoled her, but her mother pointed out that perhaps, in her effort to be a friend to everyone, she had not been a true friend to anyone; in an attempt to win a large number of friends, she had undermined the importance of building quality friendships. Kamla understood her mother’s words, but what could she do now?
**
Which of your friends are you remembering today? Do drop them a (virtual) hug in the comments below!
