Friendships and companionship have proven to be crucial human bonds, even more so in these socially-distant times. We had a chat with Shubha Vilas, motivational speaker and author of The Magic of Friendships – about friends, friendships and maintaining human bonds in these times.
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Do you feel friendships have acquired a new and deeper meaning in these times?
Was there a time when friendship was not important? But yes, you could say today it is more important than ever because of nuclear families and working parents. Friends have replaced family too. Friendship is the single most relationship that has the potential to make you or break you.
As the world has become more virtual and relatively more isolated in the pandemic, how can we maintain and strengthen our friendships today?
The virtual world is an important tool in forming and maintaining friendships. If used judiciously. Imagine your friends are accessible at all times? Isn’t that a boon? We may be physically isolated, but together in consciousness.
Principles of friendship are the same in every era. What changes is the context. You can pick any friendship story from any yuga…any century…any country…any culture…the principles will never change. Friendship as a concept is eternal.
What does it mean to be a ‘good’ friend?
You are a good friend if you can – appreciate the good in others, encourage their potential, respect the differences, tolerate the unchangeable and forgive their mistakes.
Social media is a lot about numbers, but it has also helped us stay connected with the world in these times. What would you say the impact of the digital age has been on friendships and companionship?
The digital age has redefined friendship! Now even though I may not know a person, I can end up being friends on social platforms! Therefore, in my book I mention levels of friendship. Not all friends are in the same category. Some are circumstantial, some are dear while some are soulmates.
What prompted you to write The Magic of Friendshipsand what kind of research went behind writing it?
All my books involve a lot of research because I dabble in non-fiction. The USP of my books is the scriptural connect with contemporary life. That’s the focus of my research.
And why a book on friendship? Because I love people…I love making, keeping and understanding friends – and I thought why not share my insights with the world? There’s nothing more important in life than relationships. And no other relationship as important as friendship. Friendship is the crown of all relationships. Friendship for me personally is what makes life special.
Is making friends easier than maintaining friendships while growing up?
Although it may seem to be easier, it is not really true. Growing up years are full of turmoil and confusion. Kids and teenagers grapple with self-image, self-confidence, identity crisis, bullies, living up to expectations…making friends can become a complex phenomenon. Of course, adults have their own set of challenges. But whichever generation you belong to, friends make life worth living.
Did you have a target reader in mind while writing The Magic of Friendships?
Yes actually I did. This time I wanted to focus only on young adults. But given a universal theme like friendship which crosses all barriers, this book appeals to all those who consider friendship to be important.
As concepts, do friendship and companionship always go hand-in-hand?
As concepts, friendship and companionship are probably merging into each other. Society is changing rapidly and in a world which is a global village today, the distinction between friend and companion is obsolete. Friends are companions and companions are friends. There is no divide.
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